The Cosmic Conspiracy

All of your life, you've been lied to, been fucking lied to. You've been told what life is supposed to be about, what you are supposed in this life, birth fuck n die... A lil more here n there while doing so....

Grow up, do well in school - scholarships - merits - best colleges; make friends - hang out - coffees - nite outs - placements; get a girlfriend or boyfriend - seek love from him/her - try n love or act so if nothing works keep seeking all your life; get a good job - good means which gets you money and stability not satisfaction; get married - have kids; spend rest of your life taking crap from them.....

Watch tv, read books, to attain some peace go to some temple, talk n preach philosophical shit, attend crappy self-discovery courses, to keep up with everything and jazz bout work-life try and take up some extra activity. Work till your ass aches to earn money and then donate money to charity to feel good about it. Go on vacation to forget bout the pressures but end up getting haunted by the same worries. Get old, retire, spend time with the grandkids. Look back on your life with nostalgia, look forward with hope.

This is what you're supposed to do, this is what normal people do. This is what everyone else is doing. Oh sure, there are a few aberrations here and there, sometimes some people slip off this track, but they get back on at any time. They have to, there is no escaping it.

Well ya, sometimes you meet that young pretty couple who socialise so much that people go green. The wife cooks, irons, washes and does everything needed. The man works n earns, but she stopped sleeping with her husband several years ago, the love has drained and dies, possibly it never existed. But that's ok, cause he sneaks off a couple times a week and and gets his needs satisfied. He feels a bit guilty about the whole affair but thats OK too, he tips her extra and gets away with the guilt. The wife indulges in bhajans and kirtans and cares a fuck bout anythin, for her its her karma. For her the life is better than the girl in her village school whose own dad sold her off for 15oo Rs. She loves her son immensely, he loves her back too but cant express due to the Marijuana overdose he injects to stand his parents and the tormenting educational system. He is a bright kid, but the system doesn't spare one.

A girl across the hall tries every morning to shed few kilos off herself to attain the so called happy state, her brother slogs nights together to get a Medical degree only to realise its no good for him in the rat race. The widowed maid wets her pillow every night in memory of her husband who had beaten her up on several occasions. She spends time raising others' kids cos she didn't have any of her own only to know, for them she is just a maid servant.

The intelligent smart looking guy with solid values commits suicide as he can't stand loosing a job in the MNC while the kids he used to teach on Sundays cry for basic education and food. The girl in the BPO gets laid by her boss in a 5-star for a 2,000Rs raise while her mother visits every temple barefoot for her well-being. The homosexual who tries and hides his own identity to the limit of not himself acknowledging it to fit in the norms of normal happiness. Ends up distraught and spends a life with disharmony with himself, just to keep others happy.

While privileged few whine about standards of living, work culture, growth, next holiday plan, their Gucci watch and Armani suits..... For them the emptiness of the life is too much to handle, they seek the meaning in various ways. Get disappointed and live disillusioned lives.

These are just small problems. Often enough to happen at least once during the average human lifetime, all the most powerful nations of the world divide up into sides and begin slaughtering anyone they can find on the opposing side by the millions. This is agreed by all to be unfortunate but necessary.And the city you live in, if you're in a western country and living in a city, has already been targeted by some country's nuclear weaponry. A few pushes of the right buttons, and you'll be vaporized, or survive and live in some radioactive waste. But that's ok, because it probably won't happen in the immediate future, so you might as well go out and buy the week's groceries.

But this all keeps happening in the backdrop of your fucking life. You can convince yourself that once you lose that 3 kilos, get more money or become famous, or get your husband to stop beating you, or finally kick that addiction, you'll be a normal happy person like everyone else. Like everyone else looks. Happiness is an illusion, it will make you run as far as you can and as fast as you can. Other person looks happy until you meet him and when you know his story its another quest for happiness.

The problems of life are all symptoms of the same cause. The locks on your doors which you need to keep out burglars, the schoolyard bully, the serial killer, the drug addict, the drug dealer, the billionaire who thinks he's being exploited by the poor, poor who is exploited by the politician and your own unhappiness, all are interconnected. We're a fucked up species, striving to be healthy and happy while simultaneously destroying ourselves and all the happiness around. Quantifying happiness and loosing its essence.

But in the end, nothing matters, absolutely nothing. Once you die, it wont matter to you if you were fat or underpaid. Like someone rightly put it, its just one life in the ocean of lives. As inconsequential as it can get. Its a cosmic conspiracy to keep you chasing the non-existent.