Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Brought to you bai... BAI!!!

I know the title sounds like I am already facing some kind of mid life crisis… But to tell the truth, I actually may be… Just that it should be called pre-mid-life-crisis… (just to make me feel a little better) Both my maids are giving me a tough time black mailing me for a hike, a bonus, a saree, plea to get me or my roomie married, etc. Hence this post is dedicated to the two absolutely lovely ladies I know… My maids….


Bai 1: My cook, whom we have employed since last year is without a doubt a great cook. But apart from that she has some more striking features:
1. She is convinced by the fact that any preparation that does not form a mini swimming pool of oil in the pan is NOT edible.
2. She confuses groundnuts for salt. So we end up having affluent quantity of groundnuts in ALL the vegetables, but err salt may or may not be there… Depends on what kind of a day you are having…
3. She makes full use of available resources. So if on a particular day good amount of ghee is available at home, her hands won’t even shake a little before cooking the whole meals in ghee instead of oil. [I am trying to lose weight here…]
4. Her excellent time management skill is one quality which amazes me… Our Bai 1 has the key to the house so [we trust her if not her cooking] she is at liberty to come any time. By ‘ANY’ there is a reasonable unspoken understanding of the time window. But the excellent time manager that she is, she usually comes in at 4 PM to cook DINNER. Rest of the time she utilizes watching TV (again, use of all resources).
5. She is an adroit at story telling. Taking benefit of my naïve mom’s emotional heart; she made her believe in the story that Bai 1 will be chucked out of her house if she doesn’t pay the owner 2 grands COS the owner is in dire need of money. (Sure) Although she made it clear to my mom that in case Mom cant give her the money Bai 1 will start staying on the streets in her old age with no one to look after her. My Mom gave her 2000 bucks AND a packet of Paneer. Apparently she also told my mom that she loves paneer but has NEVER tasted it.
6. Bai 1 takes HUGE offence if even a morsel of what she cooked is left over. She gives me a ‘Show cause’ notice every time some food is left over. My roomie nonetheless makes sure we don’t have any leftover by giving away the food to Bai 2 early in the morning. We learned to respect food because of her.


That’s about her. So Bai 1 now has to pay back some 3K to us, and she falls ill. She decides there is no harm is asking for more money in return to all the hard work she does.


Bai1: I need 500 Rs
ME: WHAT :O
Bai1: I need to get some tooth extracted, need it for that.
ME: But you already have borrowed 3K, return that 1st and we can discuss this later.
Bai1: Don’t you feel anything for a old person who feeds you daily? I am in PAIN.
ME: See you ask my roomie for money, she gets more salary.
Bai1: But you are the one who is caring and talks to me.
ME: Sorry, I cannot help this time.
Bai1: OK, FINE. I thought you had your heart in the right place. And today is an auspicious day, so I asked. But fine, I will stay in pain.
ME: <> Please, close the door when you leave.

Meanwhile, I can’t get rid of the sick feeling, discuss this with a friend. She thinks I am heartless too. Aaargh!!!


Bai 2: The maid who does (rather supposed to) cleaning and washing clothes. But she also has some excellent qualities that I would like to highlight:


1. Speed: She can finish brooming, dusting, washing clothes and gossiping about all living ppl she knows in less than 7 min and about 32 secs.
2. Communication Skills: She is an ace communicator, come Hindi, Marathi, Gujrati or English; she knows it all. Also, she won’t give up any chance to display the skills (it’s all about selling yourself these days) by speaking all the 9 words she knows in each language apart from Marathi.
3. Caring Mother: She makes sure to give her kids ample time daily. So she gets them to work daily. Those kinds in turn make sure that they play with everything in the house, starting from my laptop, TV, microwave to books, furniture, dustbin, etc. And mind you 7 min 32 sec are enough for them to create havoc. (Her own genes after all :P)
4. Friendly: As mentioned in point no. 2, she is an extrovert and a communicator. This also makes her a friendly person. My friends who come over for stays, have developed a warm camaraderie with her. She also makes efforts to take the friendship forward by blatantly commenting on how short, stout, dark and ugly they are. All in good humor off course.
5. Integrity: Bai 2 is working for us for over a year now. She is ideally expected to daily but she does manage to grace our place twice a week with her esteemed presence. We raised questions on this but were duly shut every time with some or other reason. BUT, Bai 2 is a female of integrity; after 13 long months she told us, its not possible for her to come daily so she will come only twice a week and we can reduce her salary a little for the same.


These ladies make my life so interesting and happening. This post is my humble effort to showcase my love for them. Much in the same way they do it, daily.

11 comments:

Nithin said...

Bizarrest of topics brilliantly portrayed!

Arjygh said...

haha .. shows how tolerant u r with ur Bais :P
I am sure u have taught them internet and hope they comment .. :P

aimingformba said...

Loved this one!

ANAGHA said...

@Nithin: Thanks
@Arnab: I am not sure if this is just a co incidence or what BUT both the bais havent come after the blog was published. SERIOUSLY!!!
@aimformba: Gee thanks.. Hows perp? Just 99 days to go :P

Anonymous said...

lovelaaayyyy :D

verdun, canada ;)

Pankhuri said...

why changed the title? It quite went with the first lines about mid-life crises.

If only I had the knack to look at the Maid troubles humorously.. I hope this post inspires me to take it easy with my BaiS :D

mallika said...

Superbly brilliantly hilarious.. to probably bring out the humour when it actually might be somewhat of a task to work on; can imagine.. some mid life crisis..living up the domestic ways... :| :P

ANAGHA said...

@Pankhuri: I got inspired by the Channel V thing of brought to you BAI.. Also did not the title to sound woe-ey...

@Mallike: You bet its NOT even 1 bit funny while you live those moments.. BUt then a third person's perspective changes it altogether... And it would be too serious if we take ourselves too seriously :P

Papillon said...

hehehe..nice one!!
I think,its a post after long time..
keep up writing..

kartik said...

awessome portrayal... it reminds me of the cliched line "Kya bai insaan nahi hote??"

Ranjith said...

ha ha.. thoroughly enjoyed this :) oh yeah, third person's perspective