Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Serenity

As much as I hate to post lyrics can't avoid this one...
Stuck on this Godsmack song for a while now... Heavenly voice and music along with such perfect words... What more can we ask for... Give it a shot....

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting inner light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by...

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by...

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Absolutely random!!!

So,
Pune/Mumbai got saved from the Cyclone…
It seems its name wasn’t Marathi so MNS blocked it from entering Mumbai :P :P
This is better than the staged act at the Oath ceremony...

India lost the Series with Aussies, in which they looked promising,,,
Sachin's efforts wasted again…. :(
Even then critic wont think twice before condemning him the next time...

Another scam unearthed in India…
This time of 4,000 Cr…. We just out beat ourselves each time…
We need some KODA of conduct…

Manu Sharma is helping his 'ailing' mom recover by partying at pubs n night clubs…
Good use of the Parole…
After all, he influential rich need some 'fresh air' every now n then, Tihar is not the best of resorts….

Meanwhile, Tharoor is still flooding Twitter with his highly important updates..
Nonetheless, a truly impressive speech at TED India chapter…
TED showcased some of India's best speakers..

My kaamwali bai had been ditching me for whole of this week..
Office work on a rise and daylight saving making it worst...
Eating pizzas and sleeping late…

Meanwhile, a couple of good news from work, friends and home...
A guy picking on his nose with utmost dedication made me laugh so hard…The-world-is-gonna-end-in-2012 amuses me to the core, need to update my diary…

Traffic and untimely rains have messed up life…
but at the same time it broke monotony... That was needed...
Somehow spirits are abysmal but hopes are high….
Something great is gonna happen real soon, almost sure of that….

In the background, life is passing by at breathtaking speed….
Absorbing some of this stuff, ignoring bunch of it…
Seems totally random but I guess this is it..
Life happens when you are too busy doing other things...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Don't know!!!

It was a perfectly normal day… No different from any other regular day… But as I returned back home and turned the key to open the door of my empty house something strange happened… Tears just started rolling down… Unknowingly n uncontrollably…

Don’t know if it was missing those smiling faces or still having some of those faces and missing the smile…
Don’t know if it was missing that cluttered hostel room or loneliness of independence..
Don’t know if was an argument with a friend or missing the fun of a mindless argument with that friend..
Don’t know if it’s price of the gadget I cant afford now or losing the value of things I have..
Don’t know if it was the agony of losing loved ones in the past or the fear of not remembering them as often anymore..
Don’t know if it was losing touch with old friends or being in touch and still losing it…
Don’t know if it was the anxiety for the future or the pace at which the present is slipping..
Don’t know if it was the pain of not being able to keep up to my own expectations or at times doubting own capabilities..
Don’t know if it was missing good old days or not having time enough even to remember those days…
Don’t know if it’s the general sad mood around or the shear inability to appreciate joy in simple things….
Don’t know if it was that beggar by the road side or my helplessness at his plight..
Don’t know if it’s the sarcastic jokes I crack or the bitter truth hidden in those jokes..
Don’t know if it’s the fake-ness or a tiny wish that the fake was real...
Don’t know if it’s the empty house or irritation due to the crowd…
Don’t know if it’s the traffic or the pain of being just someone in the traffic…

Don’t know what made the tears flow,… I just don’t know….

Friday, September 25, 2009

25 random things about me

1. I love writing, I don’t remember when I got a hang of it but now I truly enjoy Blogging.

2. I’m one hell of a procrastinator. I cant get to speed unless the 11th hour has passed.

3. I spent my first dollar in the US on a Starbucks Coffee, I still have that mug.

4. I hate being taken for granted. I’m like a child who constantly seeks attention.

5. On my first visit to college after graduating, one junior actually walked up to me and took my “Autograph” :D :D

6. I love gadgets. Technology n gadgets are big turn ons for me.

7. I have a theory proposed called “3 phases of friendship” it hasn’t failed till date and everyone who has heard bout it agrees to it.

8. I have dropped my cell in a shit hole once. No more details will be revealed.

9. My present cell phone takes 3 minutes to open one text message… Duh

10. As a child I wanted to be a Post-man, then a Police officer, later a Doc and finally settled to be an Engineer… And still don’t like it.

11. I once got the “Worst singer award”

12. I cannot distinguish any colors apart from basic ones. Tan, Purple, Lavender, Mauve etc totally perplex me.


13. As a child I had an imaginary friend and I myself was a different character in that world.

14. I’m afraid that I’m a minor Kleptomaniac. No raised eyebrows, I just have the urge to take things, I don’t actually steal them.

15. When I’m travelling alone, I play a totally different character from what I am and chat with ppl. (Once I played an NRI who has come back to India to find her ‘roots’ :P)

15. I'm proud the fact that I’m a Gemini.

17. I Google anything and everything. I have the most unimaginable searches under my belt. The top search being my own name...

18. I am also a minor case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) I need the furniture in the exact place, books in a particular order, all frames aligned, etc etc…

19. I’m NOT really a happy-go-luck or don’t-care person, but I like to entertain that fraudulent idea in people.

20. I love planning Bday n surprise parties for my friends. The happiness is infectious and glint in the eyes is incomparable.

21. The most horrible movie I have watched in a theater is Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

22. My favorite pass time at public places is to check out the brands various ppl are sporting, observing their body language and gestures.

23. I want to get a tattoo done but still wondering what and where.

24. As the name of the blog goes I’m stentorian (very loud) and so are my friends; we have been thrown out of every possible place due to the noise levels.. Lectures, Labs, Coffee shops, Hotels, Bus stops, Parking, Roads… Every damn place….

25. I ride a second hand (third hand really) Kinetic. I totally love that bike :D





Monday, September 14, 2009

Nostalgia… Theater days!!!

Aaaawaj konacha….. Arararara ghumtaye kon……

These slogans still never fail to make my hair stand at the end….
Even two years after being away from the action….
As I’m sitting in my hotel room on a sleepy Sunday afternoon, an e-mail pops up declaring my college makes it to the final round of Purushottam… And miles apart, in the US, I’m so excited that I can’t sit at one place…. I just wanna go back and congrulate the team, hug them, shout slogans with them….. Alas, all I can do is write a post…..

[For those who are unknown to the this world of Theater in Pune some information…
Firodiya Karandak and Purushottam Karandak are inter college Drama competitions. But it doesn’t stop there, for passionate ppl, its their life.. its an addiction.. Firodiya and Purushottam are synonyms for zeal, enthusiasm, passion and moreover a complete learning experience…]

It all began in Junior College when I used to read stories about theater, the impact it makes and how it totally changes rather enhances ones personality. I couldn’t wait to start college and become a part of a drama group. Thanks (duh…) to the slow admission procedure, by the time I got in the college, the auditions were done… And there went my one yr of excitement…. Nonetheless I joined the cheering group and did my tad bit for the team… That was my ONLY time on the other side of the curtain while in college.. 

Came second yr and I was all set to get in the team… There wasn’t a place to act but I was game for anything and acting is not really my cuppa tea… It was much more than I had painted a picture of… Endless hours of practice, exhaustive discussions, an attempt to explore every hidden emotion…I was backstage but still a part of all these activities…. Various theater exercises made me ponder over so many nuances of my own being and life. Interpretations of a touch to silence, tried to understand all. We focused on minutest details from costume, music, set to the feel. I was learning so much in so less time, it was over whelming at times. But this was better than anything I had ever done before. We made it to the finals… Euphoria…. Won the BEST EXPERIMENTAL PLAY in the finals…. Jalooosh!!!! Happiness had no bounds…

Next yr we were burdened with higher expectations and bigger responsibilities… And guess what, we withstood all of that :D :D The Ekankika (play) was a HUGE hit.. We were heroes in the campus and even outside… My heart still swells with pride when I hear ppl talking about the play… I had my first rendezvous with the feeling of “accomplishment”…

NOW, I was the captain of the Ship… Sitting in the Director’s chair was NO easy job. Auditions , team formation, timings, motivation, everything had to be taken care of. Always, had to make sure I reach before time, had a dialogue with each team member, kept the spirits high and the aim clear. It was my idea to take more fresher in the team so that the saga of theater will continue. It was a tough task, knowing it will need a lotta patience and energy. But to build something big, the foundation has to be strong, and I always kept telling myself, this is the foundation. I tried to share all I had learned, hopefully I did. Maybe, they learned more from my mistakes :) We tried everything within our limits but couldn’t make it to the finals. After tasting victory for two consecutive years, defeat was indigestible, but guess theater had one last lesson to teach me, to accept defeat and still not be a loser. :) I was crestfallen but still had to give hope to the team, that was ironical but true. Why didn’t we win, what went wrong, why did this happen during my time only, why, why why…

I keep getting answers to these questions in bits in various incidents that happen. More than the victories, the defeat had left a bigger impact, had taught much more. And today, when finally my juniors made it, I have some more answers… All the efforts didn’t go in vain after all, in fact now I know, they never do.

Cheers to theater and its rich experiences…

Friday, August 21, 2009

Iktara... Wake Up Sid !!!



Movie Name : Wake Up Sid
Director : Ayaan Mukherjee
Director : Shankar Mahadevan, Ehsaan Noorani, Loy Mendonsa. Amit Trivedi for Iktara
Lyrics : Javed Akhtar
Singer: Kavita Seth and Amitabh Bhattach

Orey manva tu to bavra hai...
tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai....
tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai bavre....
kyun dikhaye sapne tu sote jaagte....


jo barse sapne boond boond...
nainon ko moond moond...
jo barse sapne boond boond...
nainon ko moond moond....
kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon...
anjaane raastein....

gunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktara...
gunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktara...

dheeme bol koi iktara iktara, dheeme bol koi iktara...
gunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktara....

sun rahi hoon sudh budh khoke koi main kahani...
poori kahani hai kya kise hai pata....
main to kisi ki hoke yeh bhi naa jaani....
ruth hai ye do pal ki ya rehgi sada...

kise hai pata....

jo barse sapne boond boond...
nainon ko moond moond...
jo barse sapne boond boond...
nainon ko moond moond...
kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon....
anjaane raastein....

gunjasa hai koi iktara iktara, gunjasa hai koi iktara.....(4)

This song could do what burning issues like SRK detention, Jaswant Singh episode, H1N1 scare couldn't... Make me post something on this blog.... There is a 'Draft' lying with me for each of the other issues but could never complete it.
One sleepy relatively free afternoon in the office, I was digging for good music. Wake up Sid's music was an unexplored terrain... And that is how I came across 'Iktara', this song is not yet on the TV promos and stuff... From the very first note, the song just struck a connection and kept making more n more sense...
Beautifully written by Javed Akhtar, this man is an adroit at expessing what might occur to others as the most un-expressible feelings. You have all these feelings from like forever but are never able to put it in words and suddenly listen to this song n "Bingo"... This-is-exactly-what- I wanted-to-say moment occurs... And the joy of it is unparalleled. Mr. Akhtar has given so many such moments to like billions of ppl.
SEL (Shankar Ehsaan Loy) haven't failed to impress (like almost always). But, this particular song is composed by Amit Trivedi, a guest composer, remember him from the mind blowing music of Dev D. The music is subtle to let the words dominate but still making its mark. This guy make use of every instrument in his musical arsenal. After Dev D, I was looking forward for this composer and he came up with "Iktara" fulfilling all the expectations. An awesome fusion of rustic and western influences, this song totally takes you to a different world.
Lyrics and music plays its part BUT what makes the song what it truly is, is the mesmerizing voice of Kavita Seth. Amitabh Bhattach has kept the mood going even with his very few lines. Kavita Seth is the next voice to look for in the Sufi zone. Perfect execution is all I have to say to the way this song is sung. The rustic voice creates magic. Tranquility, is what this song can give you.
Please dont miss this number. My count for the day is 23 times so far :D

Monday, July 27, 2009

All dams in 1 day !!!

It was just a figment of imagination at the start. A dream to take the "Loser Group" (My office gang, we like to call ourselvs that) out of Hadapsar for some pure FUN. Looked almost impossible at first, but owing to the determination of few ppl we managed to pull it through. :D


The Gang (L to R): Surya, Anuradha (Duddu), Anagha, Nithin, Arnab, Aiyaz.



First glimpse of the waters.. Serene and beautiful.

Shadowed: on the waters of khadakwasla .. we did leave our image
Riding my Kinetic like MADCOCKS, they thought it was a Hyabussa....
I gave just 1 dhamki "I want it back... ONE PIECE"
At your service madam.... :P



On the HUNK.... Not so HUNKS..., :P :P



The rugby team. LOL

I dropped almost every catch...

Not an easy task, trust me... :P



Finally spotted this damn hotel....
The 1km according to them was some 800KM long.....
We starved ourselves to death locating this place....
But after 'pet pooja'... a happy pose...

Arnab couldn't get up after eating some 3 chickens and 18 bhakris....
A much needed 'break' in the WILD.... :P
My fav snap/...
Nithin occupying 3/4th of the space, we managed in the rest...
Beautiful boat ride....
Thats a ROAD, trust me...
We oaved our way through it....
I thought there must be a hole leading to NOWHERE, below the water... ;)
Me with the Eskimo and the IGLOO....
Afer an as* busting LOOOONG ride, finally we hit the HEAVEN....
Too tired to enjoy...

Simply breathtaking view....
It was hard to turn my back to it, just for a pic ;)


Is mod se jate hai....
Long winding road...
Soul to soul talks (teasing,,,,, he he)...
Singing and crazy jokes....

I walk this lonely road....



HEAVEN!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Happy B'Day to me !!!!

"Happy birthday to me... Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee"

That was 20 days back though, but doesn't matter, its a Bday I will cherish for ever like last 2 Bdays :D :D Every time I think "This is the BEST a Bday can get" n BANG the next Bday is even better.

2 years back:
Smuggled out of the hostel.... Blindfolded at midnight on a bike in full speed... Tripsy... Blindfold opens... A familiar looking place, decorated wid balloons n candles n all Idiots(read friends) grinning... "wats this place?? looks like... err..." ..... OH SHIT.... The Pyramid Megastore's outer landscape, one of ma fav hangout places then..... Wow, how did they manage?? CRAZY ppl... (Murli had used her communication skills to persuade the watchman to let us do so....) Skills.... Shift of place... Z- Bridge... 1 AM.... Laughter.. Euphoria... Madness... Gifts... Singing... All the ppl I want around.... :D :D

Couldn't get better I thought.... PROVEN WRONG...

1 year back:
Hostel room... "why am I not being taken out...Its almost 12!!!".... Damn looks like no plans :( Sudden blast.... Everyone in hostel at midnight... "how did they get in???".... Shhhhh... Matron may come... Wat the heck... let her come, I'm past cloud 9.... Gifts lined up... Opening begins at 2AM.... ends after 5 AM.... Letters... Hand made gifts... Cartoon strips.... Mugs... Books (pages missing :P)... IPOD... Small pictorial biography... like that was not enough.... A hand made BAND... Lotta pics... Crazy dances n non stop chats... Exams coming up in 5 days.... Absolute unadulterated FUN... aaah how I miss it!!!!

THIS yr:
Too many things changed after college... Bdays were no more celebrated like 'Festivals' :P Not cos the emotions had died but time restrained us... I had no big expectations for my Bday, just wished the ppl who matter be around. But Mr. God has decided to become a good guy :P [Well, I have always cribbed bout Him in all my previous posts and I guess as He can't 'comment', he decided to "Act"] The news of training in the US broke somewhere in May... Dates were negotiated... As soon as possible... 6 months... no no 6 weeks... Late July... Mid May.. Some other work... 31st May FINAL... NO... Just a day short of getting to celebrate my Bday wid Friends... But then the opportunity of landing in US ON my BIG day... 31st May tickets not available :D :D... Final tickets booked for 1st of JUNE... My Bday.... So I was gonna take off on my BIRTHDAY... Double celebrations... Packing... Shopping.. Bday plans.. Office formalities.. Crunched for time... Friends coming from all over... House full of shopping bags... Hugs... All the best-s... Make the most of it... Big day huh... U made it on ya Bday buddy... Lucky eh.... Wow!! Felt great... Books n loads of books (as gifts)... All smiles... Apprehension of leaving... Excitement of flying... Hint of pensiveness on going away... MIDNIGHT.... Happy Bday to me.... :D :D.... Cakes, candles, chocolates.... Suddenly away from the scene of action and watching it like a Third person... Feeling TRULY lucky to have what I have... Feeling blessed and overjoyed...

Phew... That was a short nostalgic trip to the last 3 Bdays... Hope this unbelievable joyride continues and I'm sure it will.... :)


Saturday, June 6, 2009

20 before 30

Well staying alone in US is giving me lotta time for self dialogue. I came up with this (yet another) list of the stuff I wanna do before I turn the frightful 30 (not in a particular order). I wanted it to be "30 before 30", but din wanna write anything for the heck of it, so here it comes..... 20 before 30....

I will need a lotta help on the way... so stick around guys....

1) Run my own NGO in Rural Supply Chain or Education - Non Profit
2) Start a Branding/Advertising firm or a Service providing website - Profit :P
3) Go to the best B-School.... On scholarship of course :P
4) Complete IMDb top 250 list... Thanks to Sagar will finish it very soon :D
5) Read at least 250 books.
6) Own a chain of coffee cum book store... The best in India.
7) Direct a movie and script it too.. Well this might go a lil beyond 30
8.) Write a book
9) Have a Website of my own which is updated regularly.
10) Learn dancing... Singing is outta question so dancing.. at least 1 performing art.
11) Learn to play a musical instrument and perform with a band, Drums lessons to resume soon .
12) Learn swimming and do all water sports :D :D
13) Learn to play Tennis (Had initial courses at Fargo :P)
14) Run a full Marathon and keep doing it every year 13)Watch Tennis Grand Slams, Cricket World Cup, F1 race, Football Finals :D :D
15) Learn a Foreign language
16) Build a school... At my native village or some village.... Ruju, you will be there na???
17) Complete at least 5 treks every year.
18) Go backpacking to Europe w/o a plan
19) Make as many blog/net friends as possible. Continue hanging out with my friends every day and stay insane :D :D
20) Get well recognised in whatever I finally settle down to do.

P.S: My Bday updates n US travel coming up shortly...Its under construction....

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Tips for B1/B2 US Visa Interview but lotta crap before that :P


Ok fine!!! I agree the title is not remotely my types… It’s a little ostentatious for starters :P But for ppl like me who Google anything and everything this title will be helpful, will support the searches better. Due to a very busy schedule last week, I hardly got any time to talk to anyone and get some advice on the interview front (anyway, I prefer the virtual ppl more than the flesh and bones moving around me) and I found myself frantically typing key words in Google last moment to seek some help and couldn’t get much of it to my dismay… L So this explains the title…

Oh ya rewind a lil!!! The time has come for me to fly n fly high :D The news was broken last month that I have to travel to the US of A for some Business purpose and need to get there ASAP. Wow!! So began a tedious process of filling ‘n’ number of forms and photocopying them (I learned all functionalities of the photocopy machine, if I look at it positively).The day for my Visa Interview was 13th May, by God’s grace I have such lovely friend’s that they started scaring me that its “13th” and my Visa may be rejected.. Damn…!!!

My Interview was scheduled at 7.45 AM, WTF how am I supposed to reach Mumbai at 6.30 AM from Pune!!! The cab provided by the company would pick me up at 3 in the morning (call it night for ppl like me who sleep at 1 in the night!!) I was completely determined to sleep early n catch some solid sleep. Left early form office (for once !!) while ppl threw a lot of advices at me, few of them completely contradictory.. A lady said smile and a guy warned against even signs of it… Hell!! I was totally lost!! I had to photocopy some more documents, apart form the 100s I already copied in office.. N once again God was playing his stupid games with me… I couldn’t find a single shop open that night and had to visit a real lazy bum who took 20 min to photocopy 6 documents (no exaggeration, I have a person to testify this also), the Mumbai Indians started playing superbly well after I came back (I completely hate them now, after the RR match in which I almost died of a Heart attack :P :P) so I was glued to the TV… A very dear friend whom I hadn’t met for almost a yr called that same night and asked if I could meet.. I just couldn’t deny AND here I was with the cab picking me up at 3 AM, I was still out having coffee till 12….

Just took a small nap and got up at 2, got up and was out on the road by 3… Little did I know that the DOGS in this locality were so unfriendly to the new comers….I was attacked by a group of tappori dogs barking at the top of top of their voices… I wanted to run away from there, wanted to shout, wanted to vanish but none of this was possible.. I saw a few ppl sleeping on the sides of the road and knew only these ppl can save me… They were Superman, Batman n Spiderman for me that time… Finally I crossed the hurdle and got into the cab… Phew…

All this pain paid off.. The cab was a nice Ford Icon with a courteous chauffer, a bottle of water, tissues and mints kept at the back seat… Humm nice, I thought.. He raced the car on top speed ONLY to realize we were on the wrong path… Aaaargh… I couldn’t believe this ALL was happening to me just before my Visa Interview…But the guy realized it in time and assured me despite the goof up, we will make it in time, I had no option but to trust him…. We made it to the US Consulate by 6.30 and by the time I could get into the queue there were some 60 odd ppl standing before me… L L

It was a funny sight… For every one guy in the queue, there were at least 2 accompanist, trying to groom the guy, feed him and give all non sense advices… I was happy I did not have anything of that sort. Finally the officers started admitting ppl at 7 sharp. I had a mini, just a MINI crush at one of the officers there…. :P But I decided to pay attention to the Interview more than any other distractions.. Once the security thin was done, things moved very fast. I was feeling I was in Gujrat inside cos 90% of the ppl were Gujratis and even the announcements were done in their language. I was very alert not to miss my name…

I was seated on the first row, hopelessly trying to appear lesser freaked out :P An American officer in her late 20’s entered in the cube just opposite me and called out a series of token nos to come to her for interview, I was one of them, I went immediately and was the first one to be interviewed for the day for a Business Visa. God, I was nervous.

Officer: Good morning, your token.
I: Morning (fake smile)
O: So you work for XYZ company (visibly impressed by the company name)
I: Yes .. :D
O: How much do you %&*&%^*&( … (I swear I didn’t understand a word she spoke, I work with American’s day in and day out but I did NOT understand)
I: Pardon (Completely lost and terrified)
O: W-h-a-t is y-o-u-r s-a-l-a-r-y..
I: (Can she ask me that question??? What the heck.. ANSWER) so n so annulaly
O: Do you have ^*&^*(^ (AGAIN, I did NOT understand)
I: Pardon (I wish I was dead)
O: Mam, (trying to keep cool) if you want it to move faster, you need to answer faster. Do you have relatives in the US??
I: No
O: How long do ^*(* stay there??
I: (just guessing the question…) 2 weeks… [“I was sure by then, I’m NOT getting the Visa”]
O: ^&*^)&&_((*_*_(*&&^%ulghlhfjsgn^*&^(*&
I: YES (I don’t know what she asked, I hardly cared anymore)

I said “YES”, the question could be anything from, “Do you do drugs?”, “Are you a terrorist”, “Do u hate Americans?” and I had answered… YES!!!! Heaven !! I was so DEAD…

O: Your visa is issued, ^*&^*(&)
I: What??? (I understood a bit but unknowingly my true emotions came flooding out)
O: Your visa is issued, have a nice journey (totally irritated and trying to get rid of me…)
I: Thank you…

Maaan!!! I got it?? Wowie!! An entry into US of A valid for TEN years….!!! Without having a look at any of my documents I was issued the visa in less than 1 min….God is not a bad guy after all, he just likes to fool around a bit…
Half believing what I just encountered, I headed back to the cab n then home… :D

So, here are the tips.. For reading all the rubbish, I will jot down some really useful tips:

1.Make sure you sleep well the earlier day and there are NO dogs in your locality :P Ok more seriously, have all the documents in place and make sure they are in order.
2.Tea, biscuits and water is easily available outside the Consulate, so don’t bother to carry all that.
3.DO NOT carry any leather bag for the documents. Only paper bags n files are allowed inside.
4.Cell phones, pagers, coins, digital watches, medicine (even Vaseline or lip balms) are NOT allowed inside.
5.Mints, chocolates even supari or soof is banned and ppl are sent back if they have it in their pockets.
6.Even glue sticks or staplers’ are NOT allowed.
7.For guys leather belts and wallets are also asked to be removed for checking.
8.Once entered inside don’t be baffled by the Gujrati crowd, there windows are separate and you won’t have a Gujrati Interviewer.
8.Pay very keen attention to the token nos. being called out as many windows start announcing one after another.
10.* If you have any bandage put on fingers removed or you shall be asked to come another time * This happened to a guy. They are very strict at the Fingerprint counter.

Importantly, keep your cool and pray you don’t get an Interviewer with a heavy accent :P :P Any more help needed, drop a comment or e-mail.
All the best !!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Random Updates

Some updates:
1. I got a new place to stay. Its bigger than the present one but not furnished, but I'm gonna love it, will buy some furniture and everything will be on track once again.
2.Going to Mumbai this weekend for Neha's Bday blast and also to check the TCS buddies' place. They have been raving about it for real long now.
3.Watching A lot of classic movies and catching up with the IMDb Top 250 list. Thanks to KKs new HDD. :D
4. @John Deere, its more of chats over coffees lately :) Chats bout MBA, MS, Market Trends, Recession, Politics, FRIENDS, Movies and everything under the sun. Great time guys.
5. Had a blast at 1000 Oak's (the place just ROCKS) last weekend. Danced to my heart's content. (Ya, u ppl can have a good laugh!!! Morons)
6.Too much of partying over last two weekends so gonna cut down n start saving to make up for the losses incurred due to the new place jazz.
7.Reading has come to a complete stop due to these movies sessions. Will resume soon. Few book reviews pending too. :(

Err... Can't think of more. Will come up with something interesting soon. Till then, keep following...

Peace...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Moving on, Changes, Homeless and crap like that!!!

For those of you who have me on your Gtalk lists must be wondering what this HOMELESS jazz is!!! The only purpose of this post is to clear my mind a little and enlighten those who have been wondering...

Moving on or shifting has never been new to me... I have changed houses (call it homes) every 3 years, even more at times (thanks to my Dad's transferable job). There was a different thrill and adventure to it, of meeting new ppl, staying in a new house, new school, new friends... But each time it was equally disturbing and very difficult for me to say the least. It was combined with a concoction of very complex emotions....... of leaving: old friends, my fav corner of the house, my shelf where I kept my books, the table and the wall where I stuck those lil post-its of things to remember, the swing nearby where me n my bro used to fight to sit every evening, the boulevard where we used to go for long walks after dinners, the gallery where mom used to keep waiting for me n bro when it was time for us to get back from school/college, the bed next to the window where I used to lie down staring at the sky for hours, the warmth created at that place with each passing day, the doodhwala who smiled effortlessly each morning, the kaamwali who told stories of hope from slums, the neighbor's dog who would jump with joy each time he saw me, the unknown old lady in the small hut across the road who became part of the routine....

All these memories were wiped and recreated off course. But knowing it didn't reduce the pain a tad bit... And this time it takes its toll.... Ppl give me "Nothin is permanent but change" kinda shit and that time I wanna shout "I know it bloody, but it sucks". I never actually shout that way though, short of those privileges. Got all settled at one place, happy and content. But Mr. Prankster (The Almighty) was toying around with the idea of throwing around another challenge. I'm sure he never throws any thin at me that I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much. :P

Lotta premise there, now the actual jazz… After leaving hostel, I shifted to this very awesome place in a good location on the 5th floor. Completely furnished and sparkling clean. We got a new TV, Fridge and all that was needed at that place. It became the center of activity, a HEADQUARTER for all my friends' activity. Every small get-together, fierce discussions, general TP, hang out, movie center, night out spot… This place was everything. It was HOME. In a very small duration of time, a different level of attachment was created. And just when everything seemed Perfect, Mr. Prankster jumped into action. It was 1st April and my owner calls. "I would like to have my house back"…. BEEP BEEP…. I was shouting inside… On the outside "Uncle, I understand your position, but…. Bla bla blu blu.."…. Old guy unperturbed and fully determined to KICK us out was unmoved with my emotional rant. So, here I'm, leaving the place which I totally and completely loved and adored. But, what can be done… Moving on is must…..

Moving on, I just hope its as exiting as it has been so far. And as my earlier post says, the journey is more fun than the destination. And these kinda pit stops make the journey more interesting and memorable. Cheers to the new place (which I'm yet to find) and the new obstacles.... Till then... Peace....

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dream ON!!!

I was never too much of a supporter of "Copy-Paste" on blogs...
As in putting up stuff from someplace and putting across a point...

BUT, today I'm gonna do that....
I'm gonna paste the lyrics of a song here which has gotten into my head for few days now and just refuses to leave....
"Phir Dekhiye" from the movie Rock On!!!
Won't get into the details about the movie but here is a lil deal about the song...

Beautifully sung by Caralisa Monteiro, composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy and words by none other than Javed Akhtar. The words - their simplicity, the music - its calmness, the voice - its uniqueness.... All these factors together make it an unforgettable song.

It somehow makes you feel good about the journey than to worry about the destination, the pleasure of dreaming and the process of achieving it than the joy of accomplishments...
Many a times the achievement doesn't render as much happiness as much one experiences while craving for it. Like during the Exams and PLs the urge to excel or for ppl like me (academically lesser ambitious lot)while competing in various events the restlessness was the BEST feeling.

One of my friends and I while discussing life and fundas (our MOST fav topic :D) over coffee were contemplating on this very issue and then it had struck me.... What I enjoy the most is this "betaab" (restless) feeling. Someday I might get all I ever wished for (Amen!!!) but then I will miss this feeling and I'm very sure of that. Till then I will enjoy it and you guys enjoy the song...

ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!

Aankhon Mein Jis Ke Koi To Khwaaab Hai
Khush Tha Wahin Jo Thoda Betaaab Hai
Zindagi Mein Koi Arzooo Kijiye
Phir Dekhiye ……

Hoton Pe Jis Ke Koi To Geeet Hai
Woh Haare Bhi To Us Ki Hi Jeeet Hai
Dil Mein Jo.. Geet Hai Gun Guna.. LijiyePhir Dekhiye……

Yaadon Mein Jis Ke Kisi Ka Naaam Hai
Sapno Ke Jaise Us Ki Har Shaaam Hai
Koi tho hai jise Apna Dil.. DijiyePhir Dekhiye…

Khwab Bhun Yeh Zara
Geet Sun Yeh Zara
Phool Chun Yeh Zara...
Phir Dekhiye…

Monday, March 2, 2009

CELEBRATIONS!! (Shrivardhan Trip and a lot more in between….)

CELEBRATIONS
(Shrivardhan Trip and a lot more in between….)

The best part of Hostel Life, undoubtedly was forming a new family. Family, whose members were chosen by me and then the beautiful institution came to life. An Extended Family called “ ANARS “.

ANARS means Anagha Neha Avanti/Aditi Rujuta Snehal/Surabhi. I know it’s a little clichéd for my creativity :P but once formed we never looked back to changing it just to make it sound cooler. Its like ones second name, love it or hate it, one has to shove it up every time one writes his/her full name [Names like P.K Gire, I. M Dukre and what not :P] I guess I’m digressing. The point is ANARS is the name of my Hostel Gang, My Extended Family.

Birthdays is a HUGE affair for we Anars. Its like a Family celebration. Like traditional families celebrates Diwali, Holi etc. My fly celebrates Birthdays religiously. And this time it was doubly celebration time as two birthdays fall on 28th Feb and 1st March, and as good as it could get it was a weekend. :D :D Life sometimes, just sometimes tries to behave well :P So, we decided to take full advantage of this opportunity and plan a get – away. After a lot of discussions and arguments the final place was decided to be KONKAN, Shrivardhan et al. All the Family members arriver from every nook and corner of India [I’m jus kidding, the 4 of us stay in Pune and 3 in Mumbai :P]

We decided to take off a little late on Saturday after some nice sleep and all. All bags packed and we were off in an AC TAVERA [this piece of info is just to make some of you jealous :P] The car had a very good music system even a DVD player n good display. The driver also seemed completely harmless and little did we know, it was just the lull before the storm. We asked him to play music and……..

“Tum tho thaire PARDESI…Saath kya nibhaoge.. eeeeee”
Change
“Aacha silla diya tune mere pyar ka…. Yaar ne hi loot liya ghar yaar ka”
Change
“Tu pyar hai kisi aur ka. Thujhe chata koi aur hai...”

I won’t disagree that initially we loved these B- grade songs, even sung along at the top of our voices but later it took a toll and we HAD to stop the music… We then demanded to start some DVD, it began with some chanting in the name of the Almighty!!! We waited patiently for it to finish and some real action to begin…. Five minutes passed … ten minutes passes but the chanting wont stop… Finally I succumbed to my impatience and mustered the courage to ask him what this jazz was???? The driver, unperturbed by my impatience, smiled back and replied “Chant in the name of the GOD!!! One should always take sharan to god and all shall be well”…… BEEP BEEP !!!! I mean we all do our religious and praying bit BUT we were here for an HOLIDAY for GOD’s sake. I, with all my due respect to him and his chanting asked him to shut it down.
Thanks to Scooby’s N73 we had some music backup, she has A- to B grade songs :P

The journey passed discussing some office gossips and the stories bout our NEWLY FOUND CORPORATE WORLD. [Friends from TCS were dumbfound as they still are to have a rendezvous with this world. There Corporate journey is limited to Carom and Cafeteria :P… Sorry Guys… Couldn’t avoid it!!! ] Its very fascinating to know how our conversation have slowly changed from College gossips to Office politics, from bitching about Matrons and profs. To bitching about our Managers and TLs, from SMSs to E Mails, from casuals to Business formals… Discussions changed but one thing will never change… We still have this irresistible urge to share each and every story of our day to day life… :D Wish it stays so for ever. Amen (Driver shall be happy to know, I believe in God.. :P)

We reached Shrivardhan at about 6 PM, and approached the place where our bookings were done. Disappointment and anger possessed me as soon as I saw the place. I mean I’ve been to Konkan so many times and always had the best of accommodations and this place was just short of being called a DUNGEON. I had a strong urge to strangle the B ‘day girl’s neck as she had done the bookings but only because it was HER birth day, she was saved from my wrath. We decided to spend as less time place in that dungeon as possible and hit the Beach as it was just an hour left before ‘Sunset’.

“Sea” always arises a concoction of complex (wow, alliteration.. :D) emotions within me. Awe, Fear, Respect, Ambition, Modesty and many more….. The Ocean has never failed to teach me a new thing every time I’m around one. Words have abandoned me as I try to explain what I learned, may be the experience is too inarticulate to explain. (Too philosophical eh….) Well, I learned I should wear tight pants so that I don’t have to hold and run races with my friends on the sea shore… :P :P

The sea venture ended and we were back at the Dungeon to spend the rest of the night. (YA, we had dinner at some place where we met, rather saw a Marathi actress, I had no clue who she was but my mom was elated to know I SAW her when I told her this over the phone :P) We began with a Cards session and what a session it was!!!! All laughter!!!! I lost some countless games in a row, Snehal, who with all her faith had betted on me lost all her money as well as her confidence on me…. Duh… I cannot I got so unlucky while playing “3 Cards” that I got a “2” while we were playing highest card wins and a “king” while playing the opposite [I’m NOT making up this shit, it actually happened to me!!!!] Night always makes one NOSTALGIC, and we were no exception. Our reminiscence session began to evoke all lost memories right from First year First sem to Farewell…. We went from tears to titters through this journey… But what a journey it has been so far….!!! [Words have been defying me too often in this post :P]

As always, we had decided to go to the beach early morning, which I’m sure all of is knew we won’t, but still we decided just for the heck of it and ended up sleeping till 9 L We got ready and left for HARIHARESWAR. The place has a Lord Shiva Temple [Don’t ask me for any detailed account, this is all I know and also that the Pedhas were too good there…] On the way back we fell a little silent partly due to fatigue and partly because it was time to say good bye YET again. I do it almost every other weekend but I still cant stop feeling bad about it…. Reached Pune at about 6 PM totally content with this itinerary and ourselves.

More Birth days, more achievements, more parties, more gossips, friends, family and CELEBRATION…. What more can I ask for ?????

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

An evening in the PMT…

It was a fine Thursday… [ Last to last week I guess… (Had written this 1 that time only but couldn’t crunch time to actually post it...) ]
Like any other day….
The only deviation from the 'Standard Format' of my Office life was I had absolutely no work…
Usually, I have lil work :P


Here, at John Deere we need to complete 8.5 hours a day or els the Automated Leave System deducts half day Privilege Leave from my account very ruthlessly :(
But, my bus starts from here at 6.45 while I complete 8.5 hours at 5.30 PM only.
So I decided to take-off on my own rather than finding innovative ways to kill time, like… (there r so many ways I've devised, will dedicate a mail to that some other time :P)
I was in a different sorta mood…


Ideally, I would have taken an auto or something (it costs 150 bucks but even then)…
But, not that day… I thought lets experiment…
So I walked out of Magarpatta City (that’s where my office is located..)
Took a Shared Auto till the main signal where you get all the buses n all…
The auto, which has a capacity of "3" was carrying 7 ppl.. The driver was keen on getting in more but to my luck didn't find more commuters….
The Indian vehicles are completely ROBUST must say… Who said India is way behind in the Automation Industry, its actually progressing in a different direction :P
I could barely breath, partly because there was no space and partly cos of the strange odor in there…
When I got down on my feet I thought an eternity has ended, little did I know there were many more eternities to come :P


I took some 7odd minutes to cross the signal and get on the other end, where I could board the bus….
Like I said, I was in a strange mood….
I spoke wid the kids waiting at the stop…
Asked them bout the gov. schools n all… How they travel, their families n stuff…
Couldn't stop thanking god enough for the blessed childhood I had….
I missed 2 buses as it was overcrowded…
So, a good guy walked upto me finding me totally lost and advised to take a bus to Swargate (the bus junction) and then change from there to my final location, KOTHRUD…
The next bus was Swargate and I was determined to get into this one….
And I DID :D


Inside the bus, it was worse than the Auto I had boarded an eternity ago :P
I could get a place on the reserved "Mahilansathi" (Only for ladies) .. Phew…
There was this completely haggard looking lady, probably she was a worker or something somewhere….
I still cant forget her hands…
One can get such hands only if one break rocks for one whole lifetime….
I felt terrible for her, for ppl like her, for India and for me too… Wish I could help…
She was so disconnected and distorted that she plainly ignored my efforts to strike up a conversation with her… :((
She got down mid-way and a college going girl (guess in some govt. college for Arts or something) replaced her…
I started off with another effort to strike up a conversation…
This time I was kind of successful, not completely though…
I asked her bout the college and teachers…
She was in 12th (10+2) class… Though she looked very old for a 12th class girl…
Suman (that’s her name) washes clothes and cleans at a household to support her studies and her family…
She was very content with whatever she had and didn't seem to care for any big career or something…
How I envied her for that… Satisfaction is something I cant even dream of :P
Finally, got down at Swargate, and to my surprise in 1 piece… :D
I bade Suman a good bye….
She said I was a real nice girl and I couldn’t stop grinning…


But that was short lived, my next task was to find a bus to Kothrud..
I could take an auto (would have costed 45 bucks max) but I was loving the PMT experience…
Found a Bus for my place and boarded it…
I was hoping to meet another interesting person but..
Well, all my journey couldn't be full of interesting ppl…
There was this lady working in some bank (forgot the name) sitting next to me…
She knew the entire PMT time table by heart, no kidding…
She had her whole house hold in a mini bag…
A lil eating packet, water, money, accounts, book, some vegetables to sort out n what not….
The bus took the longest route possible to kothrud from swargate… I almost dozed off due to the vibrations...

Finally, reached home in that semi hazy state... Feelin happy n peevish at the same time... A cherished evening and journey...

All in all...
If you want to roam around whole of Pune, meet some very interesting characters, get a free sauna massage [:P] and still reach the destination in single piece….
TRY PMT…
The best way of TRANSPORT :P

Peace...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Keep off the Grass and Catcher in the Rye!!

Just finished reading both these books 2 days ago.... Keep off the Grass by Karan Bajaj first and then Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger, its one of the TIME 100 All time best Novels.

Keep off the grass:
Its is a story of a NRI who comes back to INDIA, kicking his million dollar job at the Wall Street. He is haunted by the thoughts of his 'roots'. He gets admitted to IIM B and begins his bizarre self-discovery journey with another crazy character, Sarkar (I was in awe with this person, except few of his eccentricities) and Vinod. The book comments a lot on the Indian Institute of Management, not in very good light though. In India, every ambitious student dreams of getting in the IIM and here is Karan Bajaz going completely ruthless with his comments and observations about the finest of B schools in the world, and to our dismay its quite true.
The story is pretty stereotype in the sense these guys make big goof ups, get the lowest of grades, do all kind of possible screwing up but ... at the end of the day they find what they always wished for..... A lil hard to believe... BUT, what makes this book keep away from monotony is the language which is completely engaging and the thoughts on self-discovery and happiness the author has come up with. Its like the author is articulating the thoughts you always wanted to express but didn't have the right words.
The confusions of today's youth, the fucked-up concepts of happiness, the ways of getting away from it and finding oneself going in deep shit..... All is very well explained by Karan Bajaj. BUT, he not only explains the problems but comes up wid a plausible solution.
A truly engaging and un-putdownable book. A journey with your own thoughts if you belong to the pool of lost and confused souls.

Catcher in the rye:
It was a pleasure meeting HOLDEN CAULFIELD(The Protagonist).
A weird narration style by Salinger which gives you a feel of being zonked. The book does not have a plot nor a story. The author establishes a first person dialogue with the reader and then there is no stopping. He goes on to explain every detail of Holden's life for 3 days and his thoughts. The language may be obnoxious to few as it uses words like "phony" "goddamn" "corny" "fuck" in huge amounts.
Holden wants to be the Catcher in the rye and wants to keep away his sister and other kids from the 'phonies' and 'goddamn world' but towards the end he realises that he cant do so and his sister, Phoebe MUST learn the hard way and on her own.Salinger leaves the actual events of Holden's presumed suicide attempt and hospitalization ambiguous; Holden only uses euphemisms such as "getting sick" to describe what has happened to him, but the implications are clear. Yet even more ambiguous than what happened to Holden is whether or not Holden will recover from his difficulties. Nevertheless, while looking back on his situation Holden still harbors some of the same suspicions and deep cynicism that afflicted him throughout the book. Salinger ends the novel inconclusively: he gives no strong indication what Holden has learned from his difficulties, if he has learned at all, and allows for a strong possibility that Holden will continue his self-destructive and suicidal behavior.
(Some part taken from official review.)

More than half a decade separates these books but what surprises me is the questions, the problems, the confusions and the SOLUTION still remains the same. BUT every individual will have to DISCOVER it on their own.... That's the FUN.....

Enjoy the self - discovery :P

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lite le!!!

After my last blog, I got a lot of worried e-mails and messages from friends (yes, few ppl still follow my blog, duh) about the 'sudden' outburst of my thoughts. But, let me make it clear, its NO sudden outburst, I've been thinking about this one for quite sometime now.

This does not mean I'm turning into some non-believer of humanity or something. I'm not gonna turn into a Hippie and smoke marijuana :P It was just a figment of my imagination, a reflection of my thoughts and the kind or reading and music I'm listening to. (Been reading and listening a lot of revolutionary stuff off late)

Howmuchever this system might suck, I like it here. May be we are adapted to it. I will find a way out through this shit. Its too bad, very bad like I've written but not so bad that we stop hoping. I know its contradicting my own thoughts but these are two different moods and philosophies. And like always, I'm confused which one to follow. Atleast, no harm writing, may be some day, I'll will know my own philosophy.

Plus, it was high time that I digressed from my usual comedy format and wrote something I really feel about. Here on I'll try and mix both forms of writing. So all of you take it lite and hang on :D

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Cosmic Conspiracy

All of your life, you've been lied to, been fucking lied to. You've been told what life is supposed to be about, what you are supposed in this life, birth fuck n die... A lil more here n there while doing so....

Grow up, do well in school - scholarships - merits - best colleges; make friends - hang out - coffees - nite outs - placements; get a girlfriend or boyfriend - seek love from him/her - try n love or act so if nothing works keep seeking all your life; get a good job - good means which gets you money and stability not satisfaction; get married - have kids; spend rest of your life taking crap from them.....

Watch tv, read books, to attain some peace go to some temple, talk n preach philosophical shit, attend crappy self-discovery courses, to keep up with everything and jazz bout work-life try and take up some extra activity. Work till your ass aches to earn money and then donate money to charity to feel good about it. Go on vacation to forget bout the pressures but end up getting haunted by the same worries. Get old, retire, spend time with the grandkids. Look back on your life with nostalgia, look forward with hope.

This is what you're supposed to do, this is what normal people do. This is what everyone else is doing. Oh sure, there are a few aberrations here and there, sometimes some people slip off this track, but they get back on at any time. They have to, there is no escaping it.

Well ya, sometimes you meet that young pretty couple who socialise so much that people go green. The wife cooks, irons, washes and does everything needed. The man works n earns, but she stopped sleeping with her husband several years ago, the love has drained and dies, possibly it never existed. But that's ok, cause he sneaks off a couple times a week and and gets his needs satisfied. He feels a bit guilty about the whole affair but thats OK too, he tips her extra and gets away with the guilt. The wife indulges in bhajans and kirtans and cares a fuck bout anythin, for her its her karma. For her the life is better than the girl in her village school whose own dad sold her off for 15oo Rs. She loves her son immensely, he loves her back too but cant express due to the Marijuana overdose he injects to stand his parents and the tormenting educational system. He is a bright kid, but the system doesn't spare one.

A girl across the hall tries every morning to shed few kilos off herself to attain the so called happy state, her brother slogs nights together to get a Medical degree only to realise its no good for him in the rat race. The widowed maid wets her pillow every night in memory of her husband who had beaten her up on several occasions. She spends time raising others' kids cos she didn't have any of her own only to know, for them she is just a maid servant.

The intelligent smart looking guy with solid values commits suicide as he can't stand loosing a job in the MNC while the kids he used to teach on Sundays cry for basic education and food. The girl in the BPO gets laid by her boss in a 5-star for a 2,000Rs raise while her mother visits every temple barefoot for her well-being. The homosexual who tries and hides his own identity to the limit of not himself acknowledging it to fit in the norms of normal happiness. Ends up distraught and spends a life with disharmony with himself, just to keep others happy.

While privileged few whine about standards of living, work culture, growth, next holiday plan, their Gucci watch and Armani suits..... For them the emptiness of the life is too much to handle, they seek the meaning in various ways. Get disappointed and live disillusioned lives.

These are just small problems. Often enough to happen at least once during the average human lifetime, all the most powerful nations of the world divide up into sides and begin slaughtering anyone they can find on the opposing side by the millions. This is agreed by all to be unfortunate but necessary.And the city you live in, if you're in a western country and living in a city, has already been targeted by some country's nuclear weaponry. A few pushes of the right buttons, and you'll be vaporized, or survive and live in some radioactive waste. But that's ok, because it probably won't happen in the immediate future, so you might as well go out and buy the week's groceries.

But this all keeps happening in the backdrop of your fucking life. You can convince yourself that once you lose that 3 kilos, get more money or become famous, or get your husband to stop beating you, or finally kick that addiction, you'll be a normal happy person like everyone else. Like everyone else looks. Happiness is an illusion, it will make you run as far as you can and as fast as you can. Other person looks happy until you meet him and when you know his story its another quest for happiness.

The problems of life are all symptoms of the same cause. The locks on your doors which you need to keep out burglars, the schoolyard bully, the serial killer, the drug addict, the drug dealer, the billionaire who thinks he's being exploited by the poor, poor who is exploited by the politician and your own unhappiness, all are interconnected. We're a fucked up species, striving to be healthy and happy while simultaneously destroying ourselves and all the happiness around. Quantifying happiness and loosing its essence.

But in the end, nothing matters, absolutely nothing. Once you die, it wont matter to you if you were fat or underpaid. Like someone rightly put it, its just one life in the ocean of lives. As inconsequential as it can get. Its a cosmic conspiracy to keep you chasing the non-existent.